Have you got an adult child that refuses to move out of the family home? Well, you are not alone. Thanks to the pandemic, 52% of young adults were living with their parents in 2020, and the average age to leave the comforts of home appears to be rising. However, there are some ways to softly move the process along, and gain back your home. Read on for a guide on how to encourage your adult kid to fly the nest.
Do not make life too easy for them
You may not need to follow the instructions of blockbuster movie Failure to Launch and start walking naked around the house, but you should consider what you do think might make your son or daughter feel less comfortable there. Maybe you need to start storing items in their room or removing appliances in the house that they find useful. If you are still doing their laundry, dishes, or any chores on their behalf at all, you should stop this immediately. They need to learn how to live independently.
Up the rent
Hopefully, they are paying you rent. If they are not, then start charging them now for their stay. It can also be a clever idea to put the rent up to a level that is closer to market value, so they do not feel that they are getting such a good deal anymore. You can easily do a little research online to determine current rates, and you can also ask that they pitch in for the utility bills, too.
Talk to them about the benefits of their own space
It never hurts to drop some hints about moving out, and if you have a good relationship with your child, then having a full discussion about the benefits of them living in a studio apartment, as opposed to the family home could be all they need to be pushed along. You can talk to them about the fun of decorating and choosing their own furniture, being able to come and go when they please, and have more privacy with friends and romantic partners.
It may be that your son or daughter is unemployed and not in a position to get a place of their own. If this is the case, your emotional support and help in job searches could help them to become more motivated to find work. You can also add financial motivation by offering them a percentage of their rent back to go towards a deposit or new furniture.
Finally, if you are in a relationship with the other parent (or even if you are not together but are on good terms), it is important that you are both on the same page. There is little point in putting the pressure on them to move out, if the other parent is going to come to the rescue and make life easy for them again. Discuss your goal and action plan with the other parent, and make sure that you are both emotionally ready for your child to move out. Then stick together in your approach!
Overall, getting someone out of their comfort zone is not going to be an easy task but it is necessary for their own long-term wellbeing (and yours)—so stay determined!
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